Psychology of Love and attraction (A socio behavioural psychological study)

Debajyoti Gupta

July 14, 2020, 09:05:39   

An attraction or infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.We meet someone; they talk with us, support us and liked your things. They praised some of your matters and we think he/she is our love. We start seeing each other, talking to each other and in some cases; we even get into physical relation.

Suddenly, due to small arguments or misunderstandings, we feel it's nothing like between us.We just admire their personality. We fell for the person based on your quick judgments.Within a few days, we come out of that and start to look for someone else. It is nothing but merely a sexual attraction in which you desired one's body.Love is not a task or destination, it is a process. We don't seek for love, but to seek and find all the barriers within our self that you have built against it. When we are in love, you feel the person in their presence and even in their absence. Love is not to seek a person or it doesn't make us weak. Besides, it makes us stronger every time we feel it. Love happens in small details over time. When we respect your partner with all their lacking, understand them in their downturns, make them feel secure than over time it turns into true love. Love is different, it has many forms and it is finding ourself in our partner and giving our partner the same.

Love, which began to make its presence felt from the late eighteenth century onwards, drew upon such details and incorporates elements of amour passion, while nevertheless becoming distinct from both.  Love introduced the idea of a narrative into an individual's life. The telling of a story is one of the meaning of romance, this story become individualised, interesting self and other into personal narrative which had no particular reference to wider social processes. The rise of love and attraction more or less coincided with the emergence of the romantic novel and romantic movies. 

In love attachments, the element of sublime love tends to predominate over that sexual ardour. The importance of this point can hardly be overstressed. This love complex can be found in the unusual taints of Max Weber's, Protestant ethics.  Love is often to be seems as an instantaneous attraction- love at first sight.  It  is to be said as the likeness for an opposite sex, the person with whom we can spend our whole life and it is a attraction to someone who can make one own life, "Complete".

Nowadays Pornography might be regarded as the co modifying of love, sex and attraction. The current explosion of Pornography material, much of which is primarily directed at men and for the most part is exclusively consumed by them, closely parallels in form the prevalent concentration upon low emotions, high intensity sex. Pornography displays an obsessive concern with standardised scenes and poses in which the complicity of women are shown, substantially dissolved in the actual social world, is reiterated in an unambiguous way. The images of women in play boy magazines normalised by their insertion in orthodox advertising, non sexual love, this creates a sense of attraction in the mind of the young people but this attraction is not to be said as the attraction of love but a sexual desire, which creates an impact on the subconscious mind as it is mentioned in the study of Sigmund Freud, The Oedipus complex is a concept of psychoanalytic theory. In which, The Oedipus complex is a theory of Sigmund Freud, and occurs during the Phallic stage of psychosexual development.It involves a boy, aged between 3 and 6, becoming unconsciously sexually attached to his mother, and hostile towards his father (who he views as a rival). In his book Psychology of love, he stated three essays on sexual theory, 1. The sexual deviation. 2. Infantile Sexuality 3. The transformations of Puberty.

 Freud began his first essay, on "The Sexual Deviation", by distinguishing between the sexual object and the sexual aim — noting that deviations from the norm could occur with respect to both. The sexual object is therein defined as a desired object, and the sexual aim as what acts are desired with said object.

Discussing the choice of children and animals as sex objects — paedophilia and bestiality — he notes that most people would prefer to limit these perversions to the insane "on aesthetic grounds" but that they exist in normal people also. He also explores deviations of sexual aims, as in the tendency to linger over preparatory sexual aspects such as looking and touching.

His second essay, on "Infantile Sexuality", argues that children have sexual urges, from which adult sexuality only gradually emerges via psychosexual development. Looking at children, Freud identified many forms of infantile sexual emotions, including thumb sucking, autoeroticism, and sibling rivalry. In his third essay, "The Transformations of Puberty" Freud formalised the distinction between the 'fore-pleasures' of infantile sexuality and the 'end-pleasure' of sexual intercourse He also demonstrated how the adolescent years consolidate sexual identity under the dominance of the genitals.

However, love and attraction are the two major concepts which can be understood in a psychological manner and it varies from person to person. It also may depend on a person’s attitude or the behaviour. Behaviourists examined ways in which the environmental shaped the behaviour of the animals, and they proposed that current behaviour is the result of past learning. They identified a series of principles to explain the scientific processes through which this all important learning occurs. 




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